


Angry Words

by PoH



Category: BioShock 1 & 2 (Video Games), Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Humor, Not Canon Compliant - Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-26
Updated: 2020-02-26
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:14:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22905319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PoH/pseuds/PoH
Summary: When Xigbar gives Roxas and Xion an M-rated video game to "expand their horizons," they hear some unfamiliar words.  Words that Axel tells them they should never, ever say.
Relationships: Axel & Roxas & Xion (Kingdom Hearts)
Comments: 13
Kudos: 38





	Angry Words

The trouble started with Xigbar- as trouble often did in the World That Never Was.

Roxas and Xion had just returned from their daily trip to the clock tower in Twilight Town- Axel had left early to take a nap. They made their way back through the lounge where the rest of the Organization hung out together, and were almost out the door when Xigbar called out to them. “Hey, the kiddos are back!”

“We’re not ‘kiddos’,” said Roxas.

“Yes, you are,” replied Xigbar, without missing a beat. “Back from wherever it is you guys like to spend all your time after your missions?”

“Yeah, we like to get ice cream in Twilight Town after work. And watch the sunset,” said Xion.

“Ice cream in Twilight Town. Watching the sunset. How adorable.” Xigbar smirked at them.

“What, you have a problem with that?” asked Roxas.

“Not at all. Take it easy there, tiger. I’m just wondering…haven’t you ever considered doing something else with your free time? Ever thought about expanding your horizons a little bit? There’s more than one way to have fun with your friends, y’know.” Roxas and Xion exchanged puzzled looks and shook their heads. Xigbar laughed. “That’s what I thought. Well, it’s about time you learned to do something new. Go on up to Poppet’s room. I think you’ll find something in there that’ll interest you.”

“You got us a present…?” asked Xion.

“Sure I did. Why shouldn’t I? I’m a nice guy.”

“No, you’re not,” said Demyx, from the other side of the room.

“Nobody asked you,” said Xigbar. Turning back to Roxas and Xion, he nodded to them. “Well, go on. Check it out and see if you like it.” The kids hesitated for a moment, and then Xion ran to her room with Roxas right behind her.

“And just what new scheme are you cooking up this time, Xigbar?” asked Luxord, as everyone watched them leave.

Xigbar shrugged. “What? I’m not allowed to do something nice for the kids once and a while?”

“Very well. I suppose it will all come to light in due time.”

* * *

Axel woke up in the middle of the night and was on his way down to the kitchen to get some water when he heard Roxas and Xion’s voices. Along with some strange popping noises that almost sounded like…gunfire? He took a detour to Xion’s room and noticed the light flickering from the space underneath her door. They were definitely in there- and saying some very strange things.

“C’mon, Xion, get him!”

“I can’t! I can’t aim!”

“Then use the wrench!”

“Noooooo, he’s coming! I can’t do this, Roxas! I can’t do this!”

“Here, give it to me!”

Even more alarming, Axel could hear other voices in the room that didn’t belong to either of his friends. It sounded like people were screaming and swearing at them. He banged on the door and called out, “Are you guys okay in there?” They both screamed. Axel ripped open the door. He couldn’t imagine what could be threatening them within the walls of the castle, but something was clearly wrong.

He found Roxas and Xion huddled together in front of a television that he’d never seen in Xion’s room before. Roxas clutched a controller connected to some kind of video game console. They both stared up at him in wide-eyed terror, but relaxed when they saw who had arrived. “Guys, what are you doing? Do you even know how late it is?” he asked them. “And where did you even get…this?” He gestured to the video game setup.

“Xigbar gave it to us,” explained Xion, “He said it was a present, to help us find something to do besides eat ice cream.”

That fact alone made Axel want to rip the television off the wall. Xigbar must have some underlying motive for giving them a present. “What’s the game?” he asked.

“It’s called _Bioshock_ ,” said Roxas. “You’re controlling this guy who ends up in an ocean, and the ocean’s on fire for some reason. But he gets out and then he finds himself in this underwater city.”

“And everyone in the city screams a lot and tries to kill him,” explained Xion, “That’s why we have to fight them, so they don’t kill us. We have to help this guy find a way out of the city. And there’s a really nice man named Atlas who’s trying to help us escape.”

“Okaaaay…” Axel sighed. “But do you two have any idea how late it is? You need to go to bed.”

“We did try to go to bed,” said Xion, “But every time I closed my eyes, I could see all of those scary, screaming people. Roxas did too. So we decided to keep playing since we couldn’t sleep.”

“Hold up. This game is giving you nightmares now? That’s it. You’re turning it off.”

“No! C’mon, Axel!” they pleaded. “We have to keep playing it so we know how it ends!” said Roxas, “It’s driving us crazy!”

“At least let us find a place to save the game,” said Xion.

Axel groaned. “Fine. You can play a little longer. But I’m staying here with you. And if it’s getting to be too intense for you, I’m turning it off. Got it memorized?” They nodded and moved over so that he could sit between them. Roxas started the game up again. Already, Axel had serious reservations. They were navigating through dim hallways in a city that had come apart at the seams. Dead bodies lay strewn across the floors, some with their insides exposed in bloody detail. The world was silent, except for the sound of water dripping and some unseen person rambling nonsense. Suddenly, a figure came around the corner and let out a shriek. Xion screamed and hid her face from the screen by throwing herself behind Axel.

“It’s okay, Xion! I got him!” said Roxas.

“Roxas. Turn it off.”

“No, it’s okay, Axel! I got him!”

“That thing gave Xion a heart attack!”

“She doesn’t have a heart!”

“ _Roxas_.”

Xion let out a nervous giggle. “I mean, he’s right. I don’t.”

Axel closed his eyes. “I’m going to kill Xigbar,” he muttered. Roxas kept the character moving through the city, destroying any of the strange people who came out to attack him. Xion hugged Axel and peeked out from over his arms to watch. After some time went by, her courage returned and she asked to have the controller. Roxas handed it over and curled up next to Axel while she played.

“Hey, Axel?” he asked, “What’s the difference between a sunset and a son of a bitch?”

Axel sat up so fast that he accidentally hit Roxas in the face with his elbow. “ _What?_ ”

“Oh yeah,” said Xion, “We were talking about that right before you came in. We heard some people saying it in the game. So, there’s sunrises, and sunsets, but what’s a son of a bitch?”

Axel closed his eyes again. “I’m. Going. To. Kill. Xigbar.”

“C’mon, what is it?” asked Roxas, “Can we watch it while we eat ice cream together?”

“ _No._ ” Axel rubbed his forehead. “It’s S-O-N, not S-U-N. The words just sound the same, but it’s got nothing to do with the sunset. It’s…not a nice thing to say. It’s an insult, something you only call someone when you’re really, really angry.”

Roxas nodded thoughtfully. “The guy who said it _did_ sound angry.”

“So, is ‘shit’ something you call someone when you’re angry too?” asked Xion, “Because we’ve heard that one a lot. And ‘damn.’ And fu…”

“OKAY!” Axel yelled. “Yes. Yes, those are all words that people say when they’re angry. And only when they’re angry. You don’t ever need to say them.”

“Because we don’t have hearts, so we can’t get angry, right?” asked Xion.

“Exactly. Don’t say them.”

“Okay. And what about…?” Roxas started to ask.

“Look,” Axel interrupted, “Put it this way: if you’ve heard a word in this game, and you don’t recognize it, just assume that it’s a word that you don’t say unless you’re angry. Which means you’re never gonna say it. Especially not in front of the other Organization members. Got it memorized?”

Roxas tapped the side of his head. “Got it.”

“Got it!” echoed Xion.

“Good.”

* * *

They didn’t finish the game that night. When it became apparent that it would take a lot longer to complete, Axel put his foot down and made Roxas and Xion go to bed. The two of them returned to it the next day after they’d finished their ice cream. This time, Xion brought a note pad with her. “We should make a list of all the words that we don’t recognize, so we know which ones are angry words,” she advised Roxas.

“Good idea. I’ll play, and you write them down.” Roxas got the game started while Xion readied her pencil. “There sure are a lot of words that are weird,” he said after a while.

“Uh-huh,” said Xion, “So let’s see. We’ve got: son of a bitch, shit, damn, fuck, hell, goddess, Communist, old grape, pill, nurse, Adam, commandments, bastard, ugly…” She frowned. “What about ‘daddy?’ I don’t recognize that word.”

“That’s different. That’s the name of one of the enemies here, remember? The Big Daddies.”

Xion nodded. “I’m going to add it to the list just to be safe. And ‘splicer’ too. And what about Ryan?”

“Ryan’s the name of one of the people in this city.”

“Yeah, but every time someone says it, they sound angry,” said Xion.

“Oh yeah. Good point. You’d better add it,” said Roxas. “Do you think we should show this list to Axel when we’re done?”

“No. He doesn’t even like that we’re still playing this game. Let’s just keep this list for ourselves.”

“Good idea. And then we’ll know which words we should never use.”

“Unless we’re really angry,” said Xion.

“Right. Unless we’re really angry.”

* * *

Xigbar watched Roxas and Xion enter the lounge to receive their daily missions. If he’d had a heart, he would have felt profoundly disappointed. Aside from the kids having a few sleepless nights, they hadn’t shown any signs of being affected by what they’d been playing. He hadn’t really know what to expect, but he should have gotten something out of it. Instead, they kept going about their lives like they normally did. Doing their missions. Hanging around with Axel. Eating ice cream. Occasionally asking ridiculous questions. Getting chewed out by Saïx…

…which was happening at that very moment. Xigbar yawned. He’d heard Saïx throw all those insults before, and he’d hear it all again. The guy had it out for Xion in particular. She stood her ground and formed her hands into fists, but when she spoke, her voice sounded high-pitched and shaky. “I’m _not_ a mistake! I just missed a few Heartless! I’ll do better today, honest!”

“I’ve missed my heart-collecting quota sometimes! It’s not a big deal!” shouted Roxas.

“Stay out of this, Roxas. This does not concern you,” said Saïx.

“It does concern me when you’re talking like that to my friend!”

Saïx ignored him. “You _are_ a mistake,” he told Xion, “I don’t know why we’ve bothered to continue using you.”

Xion scrunched up her face, rocked back and forth on the heels of her feet, and took a deep breath. Saïx raised an eyebrow. And then she screamed out, for everyone in the castle to hear: “Oh YEAH? Well, YOU are an UGLY COMMUNIST GODDESS!”

Roxas’ mouth fell open. Xigbar straightened up from his spot on the couch. Demyx stopped playing his sitar and Luxord dropped his stack of cards.

Saïx blinked. “ _What?_ ”

“Yeah! That’s right! You heard me!” Xion raised her fists. “I said you’re an ugly communist goddess! And you’re a Ryan-shit-bastard-son-of-a-bitch! And you’re a DAMN ADAM!”

Axel chose this moment to enter the lounge and froze when he heard Xion’s shouts. Saïx looked at him, then back at Xion. “Get to your mission,” he said shortly, “You too, Roxas.” With that, he stalked out of the room, only stopping to tell Axel, “I have no idea what that was about. But I’m going to assume it was somehow your fault.”

Silence hung over the room after he left. Axel didn’t know whether to laugh or to seek out a nice wall where he could slam his head repeatedly.

In a hushed voice, Roxas said, “Xion. That was _awesome_.”

She smiled in a sheepish way. “I’m sorry, Axel. He made me angry, so I started using angry words. You know, from the _Bioshock_ game you didn’t want us playing.”

Axel rubbed his hands vigorously over his face. Nobody else in the Organization said a word. Then Xigbar snorted. The next thing they knew, he was laughing so hard that he had actual tears in his one good eye. Axel crossed the room, grabbed him by the back of the hood, and dragged him out of the lounge. “Let’s go. You and I are going to have a nice long conversation about that _present_.”

“Go ahead. That was worth it. Keep using those ‘angry words,’ kiddos!” said Xigbar, as they left the room.

Xion frowned. “Is that why he wanted us to play the game?”

“I don’t know,” said Roxas, “I guess he meant for it to be some kind of trick. He’s such an ugly Ryan goddess.” Xion agreed. He certainly was.


End file.
